Some of the Confidence Building Exercises

Posted in category Communication Skills

Nowadays there are various classes and discourses which are held for this purpose. Moreover one can even resort to books, videos and even the Internet to gain knowledge on confidence building exercises. Now, let discuss some of the popular confidence building tips:

1. Positive thinking
It is important to be extremely positive minded and remove all the negativity in one’s mind. Love your self and be proud of your achievements. If one is feeling down and is unable to achieve something, make a list of the good and commendable tasks which you have done and go through them everyday. This will help you realize your own importance and value. One can read up on motivation as well. It is very important to be positive and take things in your stride.

2. Setting Goals
This is an important confidence building exercises to increase confidence levels. One should make a list of goals on one hand and on the other the strengths and weaknesses which you might have. Along with that make a note of the skills which you possess to achieve the goals. The skills which you do not have need to be worked upon first and then the start off accomplishing each goal. With surpassing each goal, you will gain confidence in yourself. It is important to have a vision clear in your head and failing in any task is meant to be taken as a stepping stone and learning rather than go in the dumps for failure.

3. Self Hypnosis
This technique can prove to be very productive if followed very sincerely. People have felt very calm and productive while indulging in self hypnosis and completing the task with increased confidence.

4. Breathing techniques
When you feel nervous, you just need to take a deep breath to create calmness. This is one of confidence building exercises which help in one getting a control on their fear of if they are very nervous before performance of a task.

5. Body language
You need to have a positive and straight physical appearance. This leads to reflection of an individual’s confidence. For instance if you walk and talk straight, with head held high, positive signals would be sent on confidence level such as hunched back or a weak handshake etc. One should also be particular about their overall appearance, like clothes, hair and other things.

6. Mind management
It is very important because talk to their own selves and undertakes conditioning of the mind to be positive and look at the future with assurance and hope. Thinking negative would not help anyways!

These are some of the confidence building exercises which are very effective if followed sincerely. It is important to be positive and thus take these exercises in your stride and remove all negativity away!

6 Tips to Overcoming Social Anxiety

Posted in category Social Phobia

There are many different techniques, and they appear to work for different people. Your goal is to find which method helps you. Here we focus on six tips that may help point you in the right direction.

Tip #1: Stop Focusing On What You Don’t Want

The mere thought of what a social situation might lead to use to send me scurrying back home. What if this happened? What if that happened?

The more you think about something, the more you will attract it. It is time to stop focusing on all the things you don’t want, as this will not help you overcome it. From now on, start focusing on what you DO want.

Write down how you imagine your life without social anxiety. Get it down on paper to turn it into a goal, rather than a mere fantasy floating around in your head.

Tip #2: Do Something Crazy

Whenever you feel yourself slipping back into that horrible feeling of being anxious, do something completely unexpected. Your subconscious is expecting you to start quivering in fear, so it won’t know which way to turn when you start singing, thinking random thoughts, imagining everyone as cartoons, or start pulling your socks over your head.

This sudden change in behaviour gives yourself a bit of a jolt and can quickly change how you feel for that moment.

Tip #3: Be Consistent

Everyday, make a difference. Do something that will work towards you overcoming social anxiety, even if it is small. These will all add up and can completely change your life around. Keep a journal of your achievements. Always be on a quest to constantly improve yourself.

When you do something difficult, such as making a telephone call or going to a meeting, immediately reward yourself. Setting up a reward system can really motivate you and keep you on track.

Tip #4: Make It a Win-Win Situation

When someone with social anxiety thinks something went wrong, they will often dwell on it for hours, weeks, years on end. They relive the situation over and over and cringe with regret every time the thought appears.

Change your view on situations. You have probably heard the story of Thomas Edison. Apparently he failed again and again in inventing a properly working light bulb. Was it failure in his eyes? No! He just discovered 2000 ways not to make a light bulb.

So if something goes wrong, use it as a great learning opportunity! Many successful people will tell you that failure is how you learn. So then, it isn’t really failure is it?

Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation?” Find opportunity in what doesn’t go to plan. You can’t lose!

Tip #5: Remember That You Are Responsible

No one else can make you overcome social phobia. We can help you along the way and point you in the right direction, but in the end, only you can overcome it.

Social anxiety doesn’t get easier with age. It is only when you decide to make that commitment that you will be able to beat it. Remember that you are responsible. You have a choice.

Tip #6: Repeat an Affirmation

When things are going wrong, start repeating an affirmation in your head. Tell yourself that it is all going exactly how you want it to. Find an affirmation that suits you and say it over and over again.

This is something that will grow stronger with practice. The more you do this, the more effective it will be. Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between fantasy and reality, therefore any information you feed to it, it will believe (especially if you feed it this information constantly).

Reading the Body Language

Posted in category Body Language

The art of reading the body language of others as well as maintaining our own goes a long way in creating that all-important first impression.

Positive Approaches:

Use Open Body Language: Look at people in the eye when they speak, and lean forward to indicate interest. Face them with your arms uncrossed, and smile sincerely. However, if someone projects a closed body language, it is a sign that you should give him or her space.

Make Eye Contact: When you meet someone, it is crucial that you make eye contact. When an individual refuses to make eye contact, it shows lack of self-confidence and trustworthiness. However, do not sustain contact for more than three seconds, as it could be perceived as staring.

Dress Appropriately: Depending on the group you are interacting with, make an effort to dress accordingly. Maintain a polished appearance and dress neutrally.

Facial Expressions: Try to show genuine emotions and transition from one expression to the other gradually. Sudden transitions can throw off your acquaintance and make people around you uncomfortable.

Show an Interest in Other People: Everyone likes to talk about him or herself. A good way to indicate an interest in other people is to ask them questions about their lives, interests and passions.

Converse Smartly: When talking in a group, avoid provocative topics. Let the conversation flow around more neutral and common topics. Do not isolate any individual by talking about a topic they are not aware of.

The above guidelines will help you appear more approachable. Most important of all, keep your emotions and intentions genuine and maintain a positive outlook throughout the meeting.

Helping People who Suffer from Social Anxiety

Posted in category Social Phobia

Many people suffer from social anxiety. In the United States, studies have found this disorder to be the third largest psychological disorder in the country. This is no surprise due to the social and media pressures we have promoting the idea that happiness is found outside our self. This is false. Happiness can only be found from within.

One can be fearful of a specific social situation or all. Common physical symptoms of this disorder manifest as racing heart, blushing, sweating, dry throat and mouth, trembling, swallowing with difficulty, and muscle twitches, to name a few.

The core belief in social anxiety is that the opinions of others about ourselves are more important then our own. When we worry about the opinions of others we allow these opinions to be able to change our state of being thereby giving away our own identity. It is important to give more importance to what we think of ourselves than what anyone else does. After all, no one knows ourselves better than us.

The only way others judgments and opinions of ourselves can change our mood is if we let them. It is an illusion to think we can control how others think of us and how others see us is reality. We alone are the creators of our lives and how we experience our life.

The 3 Communications Skills for Better Leader

Posted in category Communication Skills

If the leaders are not able to effectively communicate, they will have significant problems convincing their followers to join them on their leadership journey. Whether it is oral or written communications, the three “C’s” of effective communication will enhance a leader’s ability to communicate with their followers. They should be able to speak and write clearly, concisely, and with confidence. Here is how these skills are applied:

All good leaders are able to clearly state where they are at and where they want to go; what they expect of their followers; and how they will get to where they want to go.

Communicate Concisely. Verbose messages are more likely to be misunderstood and less inspiring. Good leaders don’t bore their followers with long-winded speeches or lengthy memos. They get right to the point and make it stick.

Good leaders must also communicate with confidence. People will not follow someone who is hesitant about their vision or how to accomplish it. They want a leader who exudes confidence in their abilities and in their team’s abilities to reach their desired goals.

Leaders who practice these three skills will not only enhance their communications, but also impact their effectiveness as a leader. If you are a leader remember to communicate using the three “C’s.” It may take practice to hone these skills, but you will become a much better leader if you use them.

Social Life as an Adult

Posted in category Social Life

There are many things you can do to encourage appropriate social behavior in your teenager. Here are some ways you can get your teen involved socially with his school and the community at large:

Volunteer work gets your teen out into the community and helps him practice dealing with other adults besides his parents, teachers and coaches. With volunteer work, he will learn how to deal with his boss and how to get along with and work beside his co-workers(if there are any). He won’t be paid, but at least he will get a taste of what it is like to work for other people or organizations.

Be sure you and your teen explore any clubs or organizations the school has available and see what they actually do and when they meet. Most schools have a chess club, Spanish club, French club, service club, math club, music club, band, etc.  Usually, teachers or counselors sponsor these clubs and provide oversight. Sometimes they get to go on field trips or even journey to other countries that speak the language they are studying. This is an easy and painless way for your teen to socialize with others and do things he enjoys.

Most secondary schools still have student government for each class. Your teen can run for president, vice president, secretary or treasurer. Tell him that holding such an office(or even running for it and losing) shows leadership qualities to future employers or universities. Also, he will interact with other like-minded teens from his own class. So if your high schooler  is interested in government, politics or civics, get him involved with student government. If you’re not sure your school has this program, just call the school office to find out.

As you can see, there are many things your teen can do that will give him the opportunity to talk to other kids his age without them having to be in class together. Socializing in school helps prepare your high schooler  for a normal social life as an adult. It doesn’t matter what he participates in as long as he does something. If you think you have to push your teen a little, make sure you suggest something that you think he will be interested in.

Developing Great Communication Skills

Posted in category Communication Skills

There are a few rules mentioned below that you can comply with to develop good communication skills. You will see it doing wonders for you.

Look positive and feel positive. This is the foremost rule for you to remember. No-one would be interested in giving an ear to your internal strife. Therefore, be positive when you begin to communicate. This way the other will develop a positive frame of mind towards you.

So, even if you have to criticize a product, begin by mentioning the positives of it. Your negative mindset might put off the customer care executives, they will not want to assist you.

Catch the attention of the person you want to chat to. You will not be able to put your thought across if the other person is not curious about listening to you. In that situation, whatever you say goes in vain. So, make sure that you have enough attention of the other side. Even though your companion is busy performing a small task like taking away contact lenses, any sort of communication at that time won’t help you.

Communication comprises of two things- speaking and listening. One should have an expertise in both these golden words. Hearing the other person is just as significant as making your self heard. Being receptive with an open mind helps you understand the other individual better and the communication gets more dynamic. Additionally, don’t make haste in judging what the other person is saying, take some time to understand him/her before arriving at any conclusion.

Communication may be a hard ball game. However, when you are able to master this art, there’s no stopping you in any walk of life. So, make sure that you learn the aforementioned rules and adhere to them too.

Start your Social Life

Posted in category Social Life

This is the chance to develop your social life. First let’s have a look at the way things have been in the last year.

Start contacting these people and arrange to meet socially. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Invite them to dinner.

Invite them to lunch.

Say ‘ It would be lovely to meet up for a drink one night’

Suggest a trip to the coast/ local beauty spot with lunch out.

Joining a walking/dancing group.

Alternatively just start being friendly to people who you meet in your normal life. A friendly smile and ‘good morning’ on a regular basis can be enough to break the ice. Travelling by train or bus can be a great opportunity to start a conversation, and when you see that person again, it will be like meeting an old friend. If you feel shy or awkward ask yourself ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen?’ Probably that they don’t want to talk back. Most people, however will be polite, so there’s no need for any embarrassment, and if they are not polite you don’t want to be friends with them anyway.

Create your Good Social Life

Posted in category Social Life

Here’s the ways to creat your social life.

1.) Realize that this will take some consistent efforts on your part. It is highly unlikely that new friends will come to your door looking for you. You will need to commit to getting out and putting yourself where potential friends can get to know you.

2.) Make yourself two lists. The first list is every activity you’ve ever been interested in exploring. Make as huge and exhaustive a list as you can think of or remember. If this is challenging for you, go to coffee shops, community colleges, adult ed., community centers, and any other types of sources you can think of where you might find flyers or information on available activities. The best activities are anything that you have ever thought or said, “I’d love to do that some day.” For our purposes, the longer you’ve had the desire the better. The second list is all the people you meet that you’d like to get to know better.

3.) Don’t feel disheartened if you have difficulty feeling any enthusiasm for the choices on your list. Those with restricted social lives may have a bit of depression to break through. Just realize that this is normal and simply part of the process, not let it keep you from action, and keep moving on this goal.

4.) Start to pay attention to any new people you meet. If you meet someone you’d like to get to know better, start a list of all the people you’d like to explore friendship with. If you have no one on the list, do not despair. Keep your eyes open with the purpose of creating this list.

5.) Now make the commitment to yourself that for the next 6 months to a year, you will explore one of those social activities a week. Start with any activity that brings you excitement. If you have a solid list of people to work with, call someone on your list and ask if they’d be interested in joining you on your expedition.

6.) OK, by now, you may be experiencing some panic or fear about going to new places, especially if you go alone. Here’s something you can do to ease these feelings. Tell yourself that you have to do this and do not allow yourself to “chicken out”. But, give yourself permission to leave whenever you want to. The rule is, that you have to go inside the door, and you need to at least check it out. Then you can go home. Hopefully this will help you get out and take some risks – and gain the reward of new friendships.

7.) The most important “rule”, however, is that once inside, you need to put your attention on the new people you are meeting. Show interested curiosity in them. Listen. By showing interest in others, you will soon find that your “shyness” has lessened or disappeared. People will find you a marvelous conversationalist when you listen to them – and your social anxiety will disappear.

8.) One of the most important parts of this effort is to locate new friends for “keepers”. Pay attention to things like mutuality, listening ability, interest in others, pleasure in their company, positive approach to life, supportive attitudes, openness to trying new things, integrity, honesty, and good values. These are the things that make a good friend even greater over time.

9.) Take the attitude that you are embarking on a “research project” – the purpose of which is to develop a delightful and fulfilling social life for yourself. This means that you are going to be willing to explore any activity or potential relationship that is appealing or attractive. Your objective is to discover those that you want to join or attend regularly.

Since it is a “research project”, your object is to locate those activities and relationships that you most want to keep in your life. You are looking for experiences that stimulate you and fill you with joy. You feel uplifted afterward. Feel free to reject events and people where you don’t get these results. Seriously consider continuing with any that do. It is research and some things will not work out. It is not the end of the world. It is just an event that did not meet your expectations or end up being a “keeper”.

10) Before you leave for a social event, decide that everyone you meet is your friend before you even start. This could be a challenge for some, but experiment with it. When you decide that everyone in the world is your friend before you meet them, you will be amazed to find that that becomes exactly what you find most of the time. What happens is that you approach strangers with an open attitude. You are friendlier up front. You are interested in others (therefore more interesting to others). You are easy to be around, because you drop your defenses and are more welcoming to others.

11.) It is OK for you to do more than one of the social activities on your list in a week, but make it a rule that you try at least one new item a week. After you have been doing this for 2-3 months, you will find that you’re well on the way to a whole new social life, you are making new friends. You are having fun again. You are looking forward to returning to regular events and making more friends.

12.) Always be willing to take a look at your “program” and tweak it. Feel free to add new ideas or drop old ones. What you are doing is looking for those activities and people that are the most gratifying and fulfilling.

13.) Even when you have developed a full and satisfying social schedule – be willing to revisit your choices. Note: some caveats:

a. If you have a negative attitude to life, this may be the reason that you have a bad social life. People will avoid you like the plague on account of this. Put in some real effort to change this.

b. If you think a monologue is “conversation”, this is probably the main reason you have a bad social life. Read the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and start to make changes in your conversational style.

c. If you have a lot of physical, mental, financial issues, you’re better off leaving them at home when you go on social excursions. Most people socialize to get relief from problems. They don’t want to listen to yours.

d. If others want to tell you their problems, you may want to gently remind them that this is a social occasion and you’d prefer lighter conversation. This may not work, but it may – depending on the person involved. You always have the option of gently moving on to talk to more interesting potential new friends.

There is absolutely no reason to sit home alone without friends. It is necessary though that you take control of your social life in exactly the way you take control of the rest of your life. It is a minor investment for a major reward.

A Better Social Life at School

Posted in category Social Life

Have you ever known a student in school who had a real low opinion of herself or himself? No matter what evidence they had to the contrary, they were always saying they couldn’t do math or oral reports, or sports, or whatever.

And they never did do very well, did they?

Before you can ever hope for something better and expect it will happen for you, whether it’s better grades, or a better social life at school, as a student you must first change the way you see yourself.

So, if you want better grades, immediately start seeing yourself coming to class well-prepared, feeling confident as you answer the teacher’s questions, and enjoying the great sense of accomplishment that comes from getting a good grade on your project or test.

Want a better social life? More friends? More dates? More study buddies?

Well, see yourself as a student who is comfortable and confident as you interact with others.

Notice how good those people feel being around you because you are genuinely open and friendly.

It all starts in your mind. See yourself as the student you’d like to be and then move into that image. How you see yourself can send messages to other students consciously and subconsciously so that you are better received by them and, more importantly, by yourself.